Have you ever been unfairly criticized? Misunderstood? This has happened to all of us at some point in our lives.
So what do you do about it? Do you get defensive? Do you attack the other person? Do you simply go to the other person and explain yourself? Do you change something about yourself so to try to keep these things from happening again? Maybe you just decide to avoid the situation and the other person altogether.
What about this; have you ever taken the criticism/misunderstanding and used it to take a close look at yourself?
The relational win in these situations come when we look inward first and search for a nugget of truth. More often than not, there is some truth to be found about ourselves if we’re honest. At the very least, if the criticism/misunderstanding was truly unfair, at least you’ve taken the time to evaluate yourself in the context of the situation and you then have a valid argument to stand on.
Our instinct, usually, comes in one of three ways:
1. Defend yourself;
2. Attack the other person;
3. Clam up and walk away from the situation.
None of these is good and will likely serve to sever your relationship. As I said in a previous post, we should want the relationship to win whether it’s a coworker, friend, or family member. In any of these scenarios, the best thing we can do is to take a step back and look at ourselves. Try to look at yourself through the other person’s eyes and try to understand their way of thinking. Even if you find out that you are not at fault, you will probably realize how the other person reached their conclusion which will allow you to empathize and then you can save the relationship.
In the end, when we’re willing to look inward in situations like these, we will learn and grow from our experiences.