I know it seems like such simple question. I’m Scott. Maybe you’re Brandon or Jerry or Shawn. It’s simple to identify yourself or others by name, but is that it? Are we only our name? And if you could be identified by just your name would people know who you are?
The deeper question, or the question behind the question, is this; are you authentically you? Is the you who you say you are the same as the you who you really are? Wow, that was a lot of “you’s!”
I truly believe that few of us are truly the same in public as we are behind closed doors. All you need to do is watch the news headlines to see this in real life. You’ve seen murderers called, “a nice guy that lived down the block;” politicians saying things that disagree with their platform, teachers discovered in sexual misconduct, etc…. I know it’s shocking but it’s real. It happens all the time and I promise these folks didn’t want the secret known by the public.
Of course, those examples are the extreme. You’ve probably experienced personally, the “one upper.” That person in the group who’s story is always just a little better or more extreme than everyone else’s. If you don’t know that person then there is a decent chance that you are that person. The point is, the stories probably aren’t true (or maybe they have a shred of truth with an abundance of embellishment) but that person can’t be outdone. Try telling an outrageous story (meaning fiction) sometime and see if they still try to outdo you. I’d say that the “one upper,” except in a few instances, isn’t authentic. Who they say they are isn’t who they really are. It must be exhausting. One life is enough to live so I can’t imagine trying to live two.
The best, and easiest, way to be you is to just be you. Don’t try to make yourself look better or worse than anyone else. Share your experiences and let others determine what they think of you instead of trying to create a character. We fail and screw up often enough just being ourselves, why try to say that you’re something (someone) that you’re not.
I’ll leave you with this: to some degree, most of us are not exactly the same in public as we are in private; however, to be authentic you should strive to be exactly the same in public as you are in private. Stop trying to be everything to everyone and just be you. If you do that then there is nothing to hide and no secret for anyone to discover. That will make life much simpler.